“Kenneth, this is Mr. McArdle.”
“Sam. Please call me Sam.”
“And this is my nephew, Kenneth.”
“Actually, we went to school together,” said McArdle. “Fifth grade through high school.”
Kenneth looked taken aback. Then said, “Is that you? Sam McArdle? Well I’ll be d—”
Miss Jasmine scowled.
“I’ll be doggone,” Kenneth corrected.
“I’m sorry about that tomato. That Larry is such an as—”
Miss Jasmine scowled again. “What Kenneth means to say is that his friend Larry often engages in untoward behavior.” Miss Jasmine smiled.
“Untoward. Now Miss Jasmine is using the fancy words,” said McArdle.
Kenneth looked confused, then said, “Can we say grace?”
“Kenneth likes to pray,” explained Miss Jasmine. “At least before he eats. Me, I’m agnostic. Truthfully, I’m an atheist, but people gasp if you say that, so I just say agnostic.”
“I’m good with that,” said McArdle.
“Good with praying, or good with being atheist?” asked Miss Jasmine.
“Good with both,” said McArdle.
Kenneth waited for them to finish their chat, cleared his throat, and prayed:
“Dear Lord, thank you for this day, and for this food. Bless those who are here, and those who are away. Like Larry. Out on the front porch. Amen.”
Kenneth picked up his sandwich.
“Kenneth, hold on now,” said his aunt. “Mr. McArdle didn’t say amen. Mr. McArdle, would you also like to say grace?”
“It’s Sam,” said Kenneth.
“Sam, would you like to say grace?”
“Uh, sure,” said McArdle. “This grace is in Latin; I heard it from a priest.”
He closed his eyes and started.
“Goddis grate, goddis gud, lettuce thankim four hour fude.”
“Amen. Dig in,” said Miss Jasmine.
“Amen. Dig in,” said McArdle.
“Wait a minute, that ain’t no Latin,” said Kenneth.
“You don’t know no Latin,” said Miss Jasmine. “Kenneth, we’re just having some fun, okay? And ain’t ain’t a word. Let’s dig in.”
With that, they all started to eat their sandwiches.
After a short pause, Kenneth said:
“So why are you visiting my aunt? A hundred-year-old black lady?”
“I have some questions about history. I thought she might know.”
“What is she going to know about history? She never went to no college. She just reads all those funny books in Portuguese. And she studied Latin in high school. But she never studied no history.”
“Well,” said McArdle, “Because of those funny books and that Latin, your aunt knows more than a lot of people who went to college. And she remembers stuff that ain’t in no books.”
“Ain’t ain’t a word,” said Kenneth.
“No, it ain’t,” said McArdle.
Miss Jasmine laughed. “Mr. McArdle…”
“It’s Sam,” said Kenneth.
“Well, Sam. In my house we like to code switch.”
“Yes, ma’am, I noticed,” said McArdle.
They all got quiet and refocused on their sandwiches. When they finished, Miss Jasmine said, “Now, Mr. McArdle…”
“He likes to be called Sam,” reminded Kenneth.
“Now, Sam, it’s been my habit most of my life, after I eat lunch, I like to take a little nap. If you like you can nap on the couch. If you’re not tired, you can sit on the couch, and we’ll talk after I get up. Kenneth naps too. Usually, Larry eats with us and reads on the couch while we nap. But not today! That jackass!”
Kenneth smiled at McArdle and said, “That’s right, Sam. My aunt knows some fancy words. And she knows some other words too. I guess I will take a nap, like I always do.”
“I’ll clear the table,” said McArdle.
McArdle stood up to take the dishes to the kitchen, including Larry’s uneaten sandwiches.
Before Miss Jasmine and Kenneth went to the back of the house to take their naps, she said, “Now, Mr. McArdle…”
“It’s Sam,” said Kenneth.
“Sam, I know you’re going to look at those books. You can look at them. But I’ll ask you please don’t touch them. Some of them are older than me. Falling apart, you might say.”
“She knows she ain’t falling apart,” said Kenneth. “Talking like she’s gonna kick the bucket.”
Miss Jasmine scowled. “Now you can talk about yourself if you want to, young man, but don’t put me in any sentences with kicking the bucket. That’s bad luck. I still got things to do in this life.”
“I ain’t no young man,” said Kenneth. “I’m sixty years old.”
“Ain’t ain’t a word,” said Miss Jasmine.
With that, Miss Jasmine, Whale, and Kenneth went into the back of the house to nap. Before she closed the hall door Miss Jasmine said to McArdle, “Now that damn fool Larry is out there on the porch. Once we go take a nap, he’ll want to come in and get his sandwiches.”
Whale followed Miss Jasmine. McArdle rinsed the dishes, put them in the drainer, and left Larry’s sandwiches on the counter. Then he went to look at the bookshelf. He looked above the bookshelf and realized there was a picture of Jesus talking to his disciples. They were all white. Probably speaking English.